Merry Christmas To All
What a year. Ok, really, what a couple of years it’s been. Someone stop the rollercoaster because I think I want to catch my breath for a while……
I’ve always found it funny the way things go. One minute things are great and life seems to be right on track. The next minute, someone throws a monkey wrench in the works and your whole world seems to be crashing down around you. Just about the time you think you’re at the end of your rope, here comes the upswing and you start the cycle all over again. I think we’re just at the point of our next upswing. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re at the end of our current bumpy road though. I think the end is just around the corner though.
So, where to start. Well, I’m still coming to terms with my mom’s passing last year. The only thing she got to do with Ben was his first Christmas when he was not quite 2 months old. At least she was still around for the finalization of his adoption. Unfortunately, she missed his first birthday (by 2 weeks) and obviously Christmas and then again both this year. With Christmas 2 days away, it’s hard to not imagine how much fun she’d be having with Mr. Personality himself.
Then, not too terribly long ago, in about August I believe it was, we had to put our 10 year old dog down. She had tumor’s and was getting to the point of not being able to walk very well (had a huge tumor on her leg). I still occassionaly find myself walking to the dining room and the sliding glass door to let her out. And I swear she’s going to start barking as soon as my key hits the lock on the front door. But she doesn’t. We have a large 16×20 picture of Bailey in our hallway upstairs. It’s a collage of 4 or 5 pictures. I’m glad I put that together a few years ago and gave it to Wendy. It’s helpful to remember how much she liked to play and run around outside, rather than remembering some of her last days where she could barely find a way to stand up.
Then came little Abby. What we thought was going to be the start of our next upswing. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen and she is likely to end up being placed in another home. But we sure have enjoyed having her around and being a part of her life. I don’t know that she’ll ever actually remember us, but I know we’ll remember her. We’re just going to try to enjoy her for as long as we have her. At least she’ll be with us for Christmas. After that, well, it’s not in our hands so who knows what will happen or when.
And, somewhere in the middle of all of this, I lost my day job back in June. Yikes! That certainly wasn’t something that we were expecting. But, it happened, and there’s no going backwards in life. So, onward we march. The funny part about that was that it was the job loss that led me to having a photography studio. Imagine that!
And while all of this may sound fairly bleak and dismal, I’ve learned that it’s at those lowest points, when you’re just about at the end of your rope, when something comes along and starts that upswing again, that that’s when God does his magic. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I know he doesn’t just show up at the end. I know he was there all along. But, we have our eyes closed to what’s going on. Closed to the “big picture”. We don’t know his plan for us, or for anyone else, so often times these things catch us by surprise. But, it’s when you’re at the end that you actually start looking around and that’s when WE notice God. Not the other way around.
So, all of this that has happened has certainly brought my faith to a whole new level. And it’s funny, because it’s not just God that we seem to not notice until the end. The people in our lives that are right in front of us, offering us exactly the things we need (of course, God is sending them to us with the help we need) often get ignored as well. Until we’re ready to see them, that is. God certainly got Steve and I together right after I lost my job and out of the blue Steve started talking about me having a photography studio in the building he owns.
And it was most certainly God that named Abby. When we got the phone call from the county asking if we would take a new little girl, “baby girl doe” as they were calling her, Wendy told me that they wanted us to name her. Wendy also stated that since she pretty much named Ben (although we both agreed on that name) that she wanted me to name this new little girl. She wanted me to come up with a name or two and then we’d talk about it more and try to agree on one. As soon as I hung up the phone with her, a name popped into my head and I couldn’t get rid of it. When Wendy and I went to see baby girl doe at the hospital that night, I told her that a name had popped into my head and I couldn’t shake it. We had never talked about the name and it’s not a family name. I told her that it was Abigail. I think Wendy about fell out of the car because she told her co-workers all day that she was thinking of the name Abigail for some reason. Keep in mind that Wendy and I didn’t talk at all that day between the time she told me to come up with a name and the time we got in the car to go to the hospital. We both only came up with one name, and it was the same name?!? Tell me God didn’t name that little angel Abigail. Oh, and if you want the kicker, look up what the name Abigail means; “her Fathers joy”. Notice that the word “Fathers” is capitalized, meaning God. God’s joy. Fitting since he named her, don’t you think?
And with everything we’re going through with Abby, I know we’ve certainly come to appreciate our time with Ben much more as well. We love both of those kids very much and would do anything for them. And while the road has been bumpy, I liken it to taking the “scenic route”. 
But, for whatever the reason that these things have happened, again, I know my faith has grown to a new level. Maybe that is the purpose of everything that’s happened. Or maybe it’s just part of the purpose. But, I know enough now to stop, sit back, open my eyes and look for God. He’s there. If you’re having a tough time in your life, maybe you need to do the same thing. Stop, sit back, and open your eyes. God’s there. He always has been. We just have to open our eyes and our hearts.
May you all have a very Merry Christmas.
God Bless.
- Todd
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